5th October, I used to look forward to this date every year. All attention on me, spending time with loved ones and getting spoiled, when did it all change ???
I'm probably thinking since I became a Mum. I went to work today the first time I have ever worked on my birthday. I came home and watched Arran open my presents while Paw Patrol was on the TV, then Paul left for to go to work, his shift starts at 7pm, but he has to leave just after 5pm to try beat the rush hour traffic.
How Depressing ?
What did I do instead ? I went to my mum and dads had a takeaway some birthday cake then home to put Arran to bed, now I am sitting on my lonesome feeling sorry for myself.
Why?
I really don't know, because even though all the attention wasn't on me this time round the smile on Arran's face when he was opening my presents was priceless, he spent the full day singing away to me which just made my heart melt and he was so excited to blow out the candles on my birthday cake.
I was an only child so I never had to share my birthday or anything like that, I heard the odd story when I was younger about some parents buying like my friends brother or sister one present on my friends birthday just so they didn't feel left out and I suppose I never had that as all the attention was on me. I can tell you now I HATE all attention on me, I am not that kind of person whatsoever, but I suppose as I've got older things have changed from the way it used to be and although I actually really did enjoy seeing Arran's face light up throughout the day, it just didn't feel the same anymore, the one day where it's meant to be about me and know one was really interested even in how I was feeling, which to be honest I feel pretty crap, I am loaded with a really chesty cold and been very rundown this time around pregnancy wise so I was kind of looking forward to today thinking it would brighten me up a bit, get out, go somewhere nice for dinner but it never happened. It seems that this may be the way it will be going forward on my birthday and to be honest I suppose I really am not going to be that bothered about it, it is just another day, I'm getting older (BIG THUMBS DOWN) and this time next year I will have another little monster too. The one thing I really wish I had from today, was a picture of me and Arran opening a present or blowing out the candles, I don't have enough of those but that is for another post. I'm off to enjoy a wee glass of Schloer and feel sorry for myself that I am another year older Haha.
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